By Barbara Rose
Chicago Tribune
December 2, 2007
Bruce Beckman jumped into a full life after taking a buyout in 2001 from his employer of 31 years.
He worked for a startup before launching a consulting business. He founded a national retiree advocacy group, became a certified volleyball referee and won election to the village board in the Chicago-area suburb where he lives.
But getting to this stage wasn't easy. Several years before his buyout, he worked for a boss who harassed him and derailed his chances for promotion.
"The experience, the situation, took me off a career path and turned me into just a job-holder," he recalled. "It was a lesson I'll forever remember."
"A bully isn't necessarily the stereotypical ranting boss," said Lloyd Schultz of Johnson Creek, Wis. "(The ranters) are easy to spot."
There's no shortage of advice for people whose bosses cross the line from curmudgeon to harasser or, worse still, saboteur. The most comprehensive website is sponsored by the nonprofit Workplace Bullying Institute (bullyinginstitute.org), which defines bullying as "repeated health-harming mistreatment."
Executive coach and self-described "boss whisperer" Lara Crawshaw suggests we stop demonizing bosses and adopt more sophisticated approaches to changing their behavior. "If you look at other fields of abuse, we have an understanding of the reasons, we have empathy and treatment programs. We don't write books about child abuse called 'Toxic Tot Tormentors.'"
Her advice is not for the faint of heart. She recommends putting aside anger or fear (and if you can't, dusting off your acting skills) and asking your boss to stop the offending behavior, while reassuring him or her of your support. If that doesn't work, well, you will need to consult her book, "Taming the Abrasive Manager."
Unfortunately, simply finding another boss isn't always a practical option. It wasn't for Beckman.
"I was considered a high performer and the heir apparent for a promotion to vice president until he came in," Beckman said. "I couldn't understand why our relationship went so poorly and why I couldn't evolve it. We'd have a meeting with other managers and he'd singularly pick me out. He was just cruel."
"My career came to a stop. I was thrown a life preserver by a former associate" who offered him another job within the company.
It took time for Beckman to put the episode behind him. "I was so angry and bitter at this experience," he said. But he also learned from it when he moved on.
"Maybe it helped me have a different perspective when I retired. I grab for every bit of gusto I find."
